


new moon

by justasuperfan



Series: of the sun and the moon [5]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Azula (Avatar) is A Good Sibling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Azula (Avatar), Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, M/M, Nightmares, No Incest, Stubborn Katara (Avatar), i can’t hurt sokka i dont have the heart, if you read it as incest i will smite you, life-changing field trip, this time with azula, zuko’s fair game doe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27747382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justasuperfan/pseuds/justasuperfan
Summary: “I kinda...I had a nightmare, too. But I’m here to comfort you, jerkbender. What happened?”Continuing the streak of the night, the conversation was interrupted by shrill screams that echoed through the halls. Zuko sat straight up in bed, wincing from his still-injured head as his eye went wide. “That’s Azula. You don’t think…?”
Relationships: Azula & Mai (Avatar), Azula & Sokka (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Hakoda & Sokka (Avatar), Katara & Sokka (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: of the sun and the moon [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2014081
Comments: 12
Kudos: 164





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello! this is taking longer than i thought to write, so i’ll be posting it in short chapters. this work is a little longer than the other ones in this series. i tried to stay true to the characters as well as possible so sorry if some parts seem OOC. its been a year since the finale in this universe so they might be a little different than we’re used to. enjoy!
> 
> TW for this chapter: nightmares, descriptions of corpses, flashbacks (possibly, i can’t really remember but there are usually some),

_”Katara!”_

_The world wasn’t anything but a blur of reds and blues and screaming echoing from every corner of the fire nation. And Katara sat limp in Sokka’s arms, her glassy blue eyes staring at the sky, unblinking._

_He didn’t remember feeling tears pour down his face until they landed on his sister’s skin like raindrops. The world just kept tilting until he was staring at her dead face, frozen in a picture of confusion and pain._

_“Katara, please. Wake up!”_

_He shook her shoulders, but she didn’t move. A trail of blue smoke trailed from Katara’s mouth, and Yue’s voice echoed from the sky._

_“You couldn’t save her, just like you couldn’t save me. You’re weak, Sokka. Weak and stupid.”_

Sokka woke up with screams tearing through his throat. He half-expected running footsteps from outside an igloo, Katara and his dad coming to make sure he was okay. But instead, he just heard the large door to his fire nation guest quarters creak open. 

“Sir, are you alright?” A guard whispered with his spear at the ready.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He shook the dizziness from his head. The image of his dead sister stayed vivid in his mind, which was strange. Normally Sokka forgot his dreams instantly after waking up. Something wasn’t right. “Just a nightmare.”

_”You couldn’t save her.”_

He really hoped it was just a nightmare.

“Alright. Do you want me to call Firelord Zuko?” 

Sokka stiffened. He didn’t want his boyfriend to know how weak he was. _Weak and stupid._ It was bad enough that Yue had already seen that catastrophe. “No, thank you. Do you know if he’s had any nightmares lately, though?” Sokka usually slept on Zuko’s floor a few days after his worst nightmares. What was strange was that they always seemed to come the same time every month. And if Sokka ever had nightmares, they only happened when the clouds were thick and covered the moon from view. 

The sky was clear that night, which became apparent when Sokka snuck a glance out the window. But what was concerning was that he didn’t see the moon.

Wait. It was a new moon.

Suddenly, things got a whole lot more confusing.

“I haven’t gotten any nightmare reports tonight, sir, but should I go ch—”

The screams that suddenly erupted from down the hall were more than familiar. Sokka threw his legs over the side of the bed and bolted towards Zuko’s room, ready to be there the second the firelord woke up with shaking hands and wild eyes. The guards nodded when Sokka appeared and threw open the doors.

“Hey, Zu, I’m here. It’s me, just wake up, okay?”

Sokka grabbed for Zuko’s hand and pressed a gentle kiss to it. “You’re okay, Zuko. You’re safe.”

The firelord’s eyes shot open, golden beacons in the darkness. “Sokka,” He breathed. “I’m sorry.”

The water tribe boy almost laughed. “For what? Nightmares aren’t your fault, and I was awake anyways.”

Zuko smiled lightly and squeezed Sokka’s hand. “Why were you awake? Last I checked, you fall asleep the second you hit the pillow.”

“I kinda...I had a nightmare, too. But I’m here to comfort _you_ , jerkbender. What happened?”

Continuing the streak of the night, the conversation was interrupted by shrill screams that echoed through the halls. Zuko sat straight up in bed, wincing from his still-injured head as his eye went wide. “That’s Azula. You don’t think…?”

Footsteps pounded outside the door as guards frantically spoke all at once. Zuko stood and leaned on Sokka as they stumbled out of the door. A figure stood at the end of the hall with icy blue lightning tracing her outline and highlighting her wild eyes. Zuko pushed away from Sokka and ran towards her.

“Azula? You okay?” He grabbed her shoulders, and from what Sokka could see, she was startled by the show of affection and concern.

“I’m _fine_.” Everything about her gave away the fact that she was lying. Her hair was wild and frizzy, blue flames still attached to her fingertips, fear etched in her figure. She sagged into Zuko’s touch and seemed to look at him as if he wasn’t real.

“Yue, this better not be because of you.” Sokka mumbled as he walked towards the princess.

…

Zuko sat at his table with a fleece blanket wrapped around his shoulders and a mug of hot jasmine tea in his hands. A flickering blue candle sat in the middle of Sokka, Azula, and him.

Neither of them had said a word since Uncle had brought the tea. They all knew something was off though, for three nightmares to happen at the same exact time. Nightmares that caused them all to run for comfort, no less. The last time Zuko had comforted _Azula_ from a nightmare was before he even had a scar. Before his mother left.

“So...are we gonna talk about this at all?” Sokka pulled his blanket tighter around him and stared Zuko down.

“Nah.” Azula muttered, right as Zuko said, “I’d rather not.”

_Azula’s mangled body, twitching from lightning, prone on the ground. Ozai’s shadow looming over the both of them as he laughed._

_“She never loved you, foolish boy. No one ever did.”_

Zuko shivered and took a long drink of his tea as Sokka groaned. “We need to say _something_. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not sitting here all night if no one’s going to tell me what the hell happened.”

Azula just sighed and took another sip of the tea. “Not much to talk about. Nightmares aren’t rare, you know.”

“I _know_ , but it’s weird that we all had them at the same time. While Yue’s not visible, no less. I think this has something to do with her not being able to protect us.” 

There was a sharp clatter as Azula’s spoon fell to the ground, and Zuko flinched. The way she looked at him when she noticed, a deep-rooted sadness in her eyes, forced the words out of his mouth. “You died.”

“ _What?_ ”

“In my dream,” Zuko clarified, “Ozai killed you. W-with lightning.”

“You died in mine, too. I don’t remember the details, but I do know Mother was there.” Azula’s gaze flitted to the side and she almost hissed at the air. Maybe she saw something that the rest of them didn’t. 

But Zuko wasn’t about to focus on that. Azula has a dream about him dying? Did that mean she really cared about him? But the weird thing was that they both had nightmares about the other one dying at the same time. Zuko’s throbbing head wasn’t about to try and think about what that meant. could mean.

“Katara died in mine.” Sokka whispered, averting his gaze from the siblings.

“Okay, something very weird is going on.” Azula stared at Sokka, almost looking...worried? No, that couldn’t be right. This was the same girl who attacked him a few days before, there was no way she was concerned for him.

“It might be because of the new moon…” sokka took a short look out the window at the inky black sky. 

Come to think of it, Yue had always been there to watch over them. Whenever the moon was gone was when Zuko had the worst nightmares, the ones that Sokka had to jerk him awake from because he heard the screams from down the hall. And now that she was gone again, maybe the nightmares were the universe’s way of pushing the three of them closer together.

That’s when realization hit the firelord right in the head. “Katara. She probably had a nightmare, too.”

“Shit, you’re right! We have to go check on her.” Sokka stood and began walking out of the room with determination etched in his eyes.

Azula and Zuko shared a confused look. “Uh...Sokka? It's the middle of the night and Katara’s across the world.”

“I _know!_ Which is why we should get going now. We’re overdue for a visit anyway, right? And Aang left Appa here while he went to resolve conflict on the other side of the fire nation. It’s like the universe wants us to go!”

Zuko sighed. He loved Sokka, but he got very difficult when he had a specific goal in mind. “Even if we did leave now, how could we? I have duties here, Sokka. We can’t just up and leave.”

“Iroh’s visiting! He can take over for the time being. Plus, you really need a break.”

Zuko sputtered. “I-I do _not_ need a break, I’m _fine!_ ”

He’d never heard Azula laugh so hard.

When she finally finished deflating her lungs with Sokka, she wiped a tear from her eye and sighed joyfully. “Agni, Zuko, _fine_? Let’s see, in the past month you’ve passed out twice from a fever, survived an assassination attempt that you’re still injured from, had four nightmares if I’m counting correctly, and have slept about eight hours collectively. You’re not _fine._ ”

He rolled his eyes and slumped back in his chair as Sokka and Azula’s laughing fit started again. “Okay, maybe I do need a break. But do you really think Uncle could take over for me? What if we get in trouble?”

“You’re...the firelord? Who’s going to get you in trouble?” The water tribe boy snorted. “You’re so paranoid, Zuko.”

“Well, I’m in. I should get out of the palace every once in a while, and I’m curious about riding this Appa creature.” Azula said.

“Yes! It’s two to one, firelord. You in or not?”

Zuko ran a hand down his face. Could he really just leave? Would everything be okay without him? How long would he be gone? Then again...Azula was right. He really wasn’t fine. And if he needed anything at the moment, it was a nice peaceful ride to the Southern Water Tribe to see his friend. And if the trip meant they could make sure Katara was sleeping peacefully, then that was even better. “Fine, I’ll go. On _one_ condition. We come back before next week.”

“Yes!” Sokka pumped his fist in the air. “Okay, start packing! We leave at noon.”

“Noon?” The siblings said at once.

“Yeah, that’s when I wake up. Less talky talky more packy packy!” Sokka bolted from the room with a huge grin on his face.

And for once, they all forgot about their nightmares.

…

Azula was lying when she said she forgot the details of her dream. Every single moment stayed vivid and clear in her mind, every single agonizing moment. 

It wasn’t unlike her to have dreams about the Agni Kai. She saw the blue lightning behind her eyelids nearly every time she went to sleep in the hospital. But this time was different. This time, Ursa was there. Ozai too. And neither of them were particularly happy with her killing her brother, and well—

It didn’t go over well. 

Azula shivered as she grabbed another robe to shove in her bag. It was a small one that she’d grabbed from her old room at Ember Island when no one was looking. Her mother had stitched the bag for her. Red and gold, with the fire nation symbol in the middle. It used to have the symbols of all the nations, but Azula burned them off when her mother got mad at her for taunting Zuzu. Plus, if Ozai saw that she was supposedly loyal to other nations, he’d have her head on a platter by morning. 

The door creaked open and Azula snapped out of her thoughts. Mai leaned against the doorway, her knives glinting from where they sat hidden in her sleeves. “Just wanted to say goodbye before your trip. Zuko told me you’re leaving in a few hours.”

“Well, that's sweet, it’s good to know you’ll miss me. But I’ll only be gone a week.”

“I know, jerk. But a lot can change in a week. I guess I just wanted to make sure you were okay before you went off with those obnoxious boys.” Mai gave her the slightest of smiles and Azula felt her heart overflow with happiness. Mai never smiled, and the fact that Azula had made her do that meant she was on the right track. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep them from doing anything stupid.” Azula shifted her gaze from her friend to the pile of clothes on her bed. 

And then she did something unthinkable. She ran towards the doorway and wrapped Mai in a tight hug. It was over as quickly as it started, but the princess found that the lingering warmth in her chest wasn’t unpleasant. Mais wide eyes glistened with happiness. 

“I’ll miss you, Azula.” She whispered. 

“Me too. Maybe when I return we can sort this out.”

Mai nodded. Azula went back to packing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> featuring sibling bonding, cuddles, fighting, and lots of azula monologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2: electric boogaloo
> 
> TW: fighting and violence, nightmares, ptsd, decriptions of injuries (no blood though)

Appa was...big. To say the least. 

Sure, Azula had seen the beast from afar, and sometimes pretty close to her, but climbing on its ginormous saddle was a completely different feeling. Especially when she was with the very people who were her enemies just a year ago. 

Zuzu held her hand as she climbed on precariously, and gave her a knowing look. Sokka sat at the reins and looked ready to take off at any minute. She still couldn’t believe how quickly they’d managed to make plans and convince Iroh to take over firelord duties for a week. Plus, everyone at the palace seemed to understand. Azula didn’t know what Sokka had told them, but it must have been a good alibi. Especially if everyone was watching three insanely important people just fly away the morning after making plans. 

Azula was nervous about visiting the water tribes. The last time she saw this Katara girl was when Azula had almost killed her, and she hadn’t gotten a chance to redeem herself. And it was hard being in the very place you’d been taught to despise since the day you were born. She supposed it would be easier with her brother there, but...still. Was anything ever easy?

Zuzu let go of her hand as she let go of the soft fur and settled into the saddle. It was a strange feeling, but not unwelcome. The beast bellowed as she lowered herself onto its back and she flinched. But it’s fur was so incredibly soft, and it was so comforting to just be sitting on top of the world, she didn’t mind the occasional loud noise. 

Mai and Ty Lee stood on the ground with huge smiles as they stared up at her. Azula was glad at least that had been repaired in her mess of a life. Zuzu gave her a knowing look as he followed her gaze. His warm hand on her shoulder was a comfort as the bison began rising into the air, the wind whipping past Azula’s face. 

She shrieked and gripped the side of the saddle with both hands. Her friends below called out their goodbyes and she waved back. The palace began fading and the people below turned to specks on the ground as they rose higher and higher. 

Zuzu reached for her hand and she squeezed it as tears filled her eyes. She hadn’t been anywhere except the hospital and the palace in _forever._ Plus, the cold wind in her face made her eyes watery anyways. 

Soon, they were soaring at full speed through the sky with the ground speeding beneath them. Specks of red and gold dotted the ground and animals flew through the sky past them. Azula sighed and let the wind tear through her hair. “This is...exhilarating.”

“Yeah!” Sokka called from the front of the bison. “You should try holding the reins sometime!”

Riding on the beast and not its saddle? No thanks. It was exciting and terrifying enough riding in an enclosed space. “Possibly.” She replied instead.

It was so easy to just forget your troubles as you soared through the sky under the afternoon sun. The wind rushing past your face, the sun highlighting your impeccable makeup, memories of your friends’ smiles echoing in your brain. There was only one dark spot in Azula’s sunny mind, and that was the lingering effects of the nightmare.

It wasn’t the fake parts of it that bothered her. Not her parents looking down at her, disgusted, but her brother on the ground. That had really happened. And it was because of her.

Zuzu sat at the other edge of the saddle, looking down on his nation with his head propped on his hand. He’d undone his topknot at some point and looked painfully ordinary in his fire nation robe and shoulder-length hair. He didn’t look like a firelord at all, not even a prince. Which didn’t make sense. If you were on top of the world, why would you want people to think any less of you? Azula would never understand things like that. Then again, she also didn’t understand empathy until recently, so maybe she wasn’t a good judge.

Sokka sat with his back to Azula, his hair done up in his signature wolf tail. His blue water tribe robes made him look the same as Zuzu—ordinary. It was strange to see how different people could seem if they just changed their appearance. Especially her brother, who was the almighty ruler of her great nation one moment, and a simple commoner the next.

Which brought her full circle. Nightmares, hatred, pain. She’d had a lot of time to think about her actions in the hospital, and it didn’t help that frequent dreams made her relive the moment again and again. It just wasn’t fair that she didn’t know how horrible it was back then. It wasn’t fair that, once she was in her right mind, she had to relive the moment and see for herself just how wrong she had been.

“Hey, Zuko?”

Her brother’s eyebrow furrowed in confusion when she didn’t use his nickname. “Yeah?”

“I...need to speak to you. In private.” She shot a look to the front of the bison. Sokka was painfully obvious when he was trying to pretend not to eavesdrop.

“I’m not listening!” He shouted back. Which did not help his case.

The siblings scooted towards the back of the saddle so that Sokka wouldn’t hear. Azula spoke first.

“I lied, earlier.” She thought Zuzu might have muttered something under his breath, almost out of habit, but quickly forgot about it. “I do remember my dream. I just...I don’t want to. I keep having to relive that moment again and again and...Zuzu, I keep apologizing, but I hope you know I really mean it. From the bottom of my heart.”

“I know you mean it. You don’t have to keep apologizing.”

“But I _do_. I had no right to hurt you like that before, or anytime during our childhood. I hurt you to the point of abuse, and I just let Ozai do…” She gestured vaguely to his face as her voice stopped working.

He took her hand from where it had frozen in the air. “Azula. You couldn’t have done anything about that without getting killed, so don’t blame yourself. As for the other times...well, you’ve apologized. You’ve changed. We don’t need to keep having this conversation over and over again because it only makes you feel worse.”

She sniffed. “I just can’t help it.”

“I know.” He ruffled her hair and gave her a slight smile. “But now you get to be my little sister, and you can mean it this time.”

“B-but if you die, and I’m not there to stop it, I’ll never forgive myself. Especially if I’m the one who kills you.”

“I won’t die. Not if I can help it. And you won’t either.” He wasn’t lying. Azula had always been able to tell when he was lying.

“Alright, then. I guess I have nothing to worry about. Unless you do the same thing you did when the assassin came in, then we’ll both get killed.”

“ _Tui and La_ , Azula, you don’t need to make fun of me for almost dying!” He hissed, but there was a playful tone in his voice.

“Aww, but it’s so easy.”

He swatted at her arm and laughed. That was a sound she missed.

…

Ah, playful sibling banter. It reminded Sokka of his own sister, who was just a few day’s journey away. But it was never something he expected to hear from Azula and Zuko, of all people. He enjoyed it.

Except for when night fell and everything went quiet. Sure, the stars were beautiful, and the quiet was nice, but he was _exhausted._ And so was Appa. Exhausted as in, if they didn’t land soon and sleep, they would probably fall straight out of the sky like a stone.

It didn’t help that the nightmares would probably start soon, since the siblings in the back had fallen asleep. That would make for a very pleasant evening.

So, Sokka did what he did best. He got a map, planned a route, and stayed on schedule. By the time Azula had woken from her dream panting and screaming, the Southern Air Temple was in sight. 

“Hey there, sleepy head. Have a nice dream?” 

“As a matter of fact, I did _not_. But that’s the deal when...when...why are we getting lower?” Azula’s voice sounded from behind Sokka.

“We’re landing for the night. You know. So _I_ can rest instead of letting you guys get all the shut-eye. Mom said it’s my turn on the sleep juice.”

“I cannot explain to you just how little sense that makes.” Azula retorted. Hm. Drama Queen had _some_ humor at least.

Appa landed with a bellow in the pavilion that Sokka remembered from his last visit. Spirits, it had been a while. He could almost picture a much smaller version of Aang showing them around as a little Katara tried desperately to explain the tragedy surrounding the place. Sokka shivered. Just what did he think would happen by bringing two firebenders to the air temple?

Wait, no. Firebenders good. Man, even being in the same location as a year ago messed with his head.

He hopped off Appa and grabbed his sleeping bag to lay on the hard ground. It wasn’t as comfortable as a royal fire nation bed, but it felt more like home than the palace ever would. It would be nice to get back to the village for short visits, and whenever his dad wanted to start training him to be chief. Even if he would miss Zuko more than he’d ever missed anyone before.

Azula climbed off the side of the sky bison with her red tote bag. “I already got my rest, so I’ll just go explore the temple. Is that okay?”

Sokka blinked. The fire nation princess...was asking _him_ permission? Maybe it shouldn’t have surprised him after everything that had happened in the past month, but it did. “Uh...yeah. Do whatever. I’ll just be here, so wake me if there’s danger.”

Azula nodded and headed off. Sokka cozied up in his sleeping bag and put the pillow Katara had made him under his head. It was homey. Comfortable. Quiet, except for the footsteps leading away from the pavilion. So of course, Zuko chose that moment to wake up with insanely loud breaths and shrill gasps.

“Zu? What happened?” Sokka stood and made his way over to the sleeping bison that held his boyfriend on top.

“N-nightmare...I’m fine.” He shook his head. Sokka took notice in the way Zuko grasped the skin around his scar like it was on fire.

“No. Get down from there, you’re sleeping with me.”

Zuko’s eye went wide. “Wait...where are we?”

“Southern Air Temple. Azula went to explore, and you're getting your sleeping bag and sleeping right next to me. Now come on.” Without getting an answer, Sokka climbed up Appa’s side and pulled his boyfriend’s bag down. Zuko hesitantly followed Sokka and set up his sleeping bag on the ground, a bundle of robes under his insanely silky hair.

“See, that wasn’t so hard.” Sokka snuggled up next to the firelord...wow, that was a sentence he never thought he’d say. He wrapped one arm around Zuko and shook the thought away. The firelord was good now. Better than good. And a very good kisser, and a portable campfire.

Sokka buried his nose in Zuko’s back, one hand tangled in his boyfriend’s hair, and fell asleep instantly.

The universe _clearly_ hated him.

Blue fire flashed behind his eyelids what felt like a second later. Accompanied by shouting, Sokka’s shoulders being shaken, and a very unpleasant feeling of dread. Zuko stood by the water tribe boy’s sleeping bag, desperately alternating between shaking Sokka awake and blasting fire somewhere in the distance.

Sokka sat straight up and untangled himself from the sleeping bag before standing up. “What’s happening? How long was I asleep?”

“Robbers, and a few hours. We don’t have time for this, get up!”

Never let it be said that Sokka was a morning person. Or, waking-up-person. Because it was still the middle of the night. 

He rifled through his bag and pulled out the boomerang his dad had made for him after hearing he’d lost his first one in battle. Sokka blinked blearily and made out a few figures highlighted by crazy big pillars of flame.

And there was Azula, surrounded on all sides. Sokka took aim after taking in the situation and threw his boomerang. It hit one of the supposed-robbers in the head as it spiraled back into the water tribe boy’s hand. He silently cheered and raced after Zuko, who was heading straight for his sister.

“Nice of you to join me!” Azula shouted as she launched a flaming fist at the second robber. He dodged with...a rock? 

Oh shit. Earthbenders.

The three of them stood in an odd triangle formation. The robber who’d been knocked to the ground by Sokka’s boomerang slowly stood and charged at him. He deflcted by clocking him in the head with a fist. That didn’t do much good. Sokka was kicked backwards and toppled right into Azula.

Sokka threw his boomerang from the ground and managed to knock the guy unconscious. But he had bigger problems. He scrambled to his feet, closely followed by Azula, and stared down the second robber. 

The robber thrust rocks toward the pair at lightning speed that Sokka barely managed to dodge. Azula threw a series of kicks at the man and launched a column of blue fire at him until he fell to the ground.

Zuko was in the middle of fighting the third robber, full contact instead of firebending. He threw a punch at the woman’s face and was quickly swept off his feet. Azula charged at the woman before Sokka could do anything. She at least had the sense to use her bending against the woman.

Azula began making weird motions that confused Sokka until blue sparks flew from her fingertips. They grew larger and into more intricate patterns. Lightning. It was equally beautiful and terrifying as the princess prepared to launch it at the woman, and then—

She stopped. Azula just stopped, the lightning fizzled from her fingers, and a gigantic rock threw her onto her back. Why the _fuck_ did she stop?

Zuko stood from his place on the ground and swept the woman to the ground while she wasn’t paying attention. Sokka left her with one last kick to the face, and then they ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if the fight scene seemed strange or rushed, i haven’t gotten a chance to look over it. i might come back later and revise it but that depends on my homework load. hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a shorter chapter featuring recovery, confrontations, flashbacks, and constellations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so the last chapter of this might not be out tomorrow, sorry about that! hope you’ve enjoyed it so far and hopefully i can explain and wrap everything up in the next chapter.
> 
> TW: ptsd, flashbacks, injuries, yelling, descriptions of violence

“Shit, Azula, why would you do that?! You had her!” Sokka yelled from the saddle. Zuko had taken the reins, which was probably a bad idea considering his blurry eyesight and throbbing head. Being knocked to the ground wasn’t the best treatment for a previous head injury. Yelling wasn’t good either.

“I’d rather not talk about this.” Zuko’s sister had a pout in her voice, which was unusual. She had gotten hurt though, an injury none of them knew how to identify but one that made it hard for her to walk.

“Why not?! You got yourself _hurt_ for La’s sake, and you could’ve _died_!”

“I thought I made it clear to leave me _alone_ , peasant!” Azula shouted. Zuko cringed and thanked Agni that neither of them could see his expression. 

Zuko had a sneaking suspicion that he knew why his sister didn’t take down the robber.When the firelord had looked at the woman, he saw the same look of fear on her face that had been on Katara’s that day. The day Azula made it clear she was deeply sorry for. “...thought you were better than this.” Sokka was saying after Zuko realized he’d zoned out.

“What do you mean _better?!_ You people get mad when I shoot lightning, get mad when I don’t shoot it. What am I meant to do?!”

“Sokka,” Zuko warned. He loved the guy, but sometimes he could be infuriating. 

“Right, sorry. Just...be careful next time, Azula. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Azula sighed. “I will. Your sister can fix this anyways, so I’m not too worried about it.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty great.” Sokka sighed. “I miss her.”

And maybe it was Zuko's imagination, but he thought he felt his sister looking at him as she spoke. “I know the feeling.”

…

After Azula took the reins, and Sokka and Zuko leaned against each other in the back, that’s when the firelord allowed the events to sink in. 

Azula had come running, her voice panicked as she shouted for help. And then there was fighting, and Zuko had just been so scared that Sokka wouldn’t wake up and it would be too late. And of course the after-effects weren’t too great either. He was pretty sure he’d turned his head injury into a concussion, and Azula had probably messed something up in her stomach. Thank Agni Sokka got off unscathed. 

He didn’t miss the way Azula clutched her stomach in pain, though. It really hurt to see her like that. It hurt even more to know she didn’t trust him enough to try and help her with it. 

“Zu?” A voice came from beside the firelord. It registered in his brain a few seconds later, likely confirming the concussion theory. 

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for yelling at Azula again. It’s just...sometimes it’s hard to see her as an ally, y’know?”

Zuko stared towards his sister, her loose strands of hair tangling in the wind. Sometimes when he looked at her, all he saw was the girl she used to be. The girl who had laughed in his half-burnt face, who’d tracked him around the world and tried to kill him. But lately, all he’d been seeing was the little sister he’d always thought she could be. The sister she was before Ozai got inside her head. 

He didn’t miss the way his repetitive phrase, “Azula always lies” still slipped out sometimes. 

“Yeah. I know.”

“I’m not trying to make her feel worse, I swear. I know she’s good now.”

“Sokka, you’re doing your best, and that’s all that matters. Forgiveness is hard.”

Sokka shifted in Zuko's arms to stare up to him. “Wise words coming from the guy who took my sister to murder instead of forgive.”

“What can I say? Uncle rubs off on me.”

Sokka smiled and settled back into his boyfriends arms. “I love you, you know that? Stupidass, awkward jerkbender.”

“Love you too, smartass boomerang guy.”

…

It was cold. And windy. And the stabbing pain in Azula’s side, that she had to grasp at every few seconds, did _not_ help. Agni, she’d just been so stupid for going to explore on her own. But she knew the boys needed some bonding time, she was sick of nightmares, and the temples did seem like a cool place to look around. 

And it was, until she stumbled upon the robbers. The robbers who wouldn’t have hurt her, except for the fact that they recognized her as the princess and began attacking. And the woman’s face when she aimed at her...it was the same look the water tribe girl had worn on the day of Sozin’s comet.

Azula wasn’t usually prone to flashbacks, but she had one in that moment. And that had ended, well...very badly. She was just thankful neither of the others had gotten hurt.

She didn’t know what she’d do if there was a dead body in the back of the saddle at that moment.

She just wanted to be safe, and warm, cuddled up against Mai and Ty Lee in her bed as they held her close and never let her go. She wanted to be forgiven, forget about the mistakes she’d made. She just wanted to be loved. And she didn’t deserve it after everything she’d done. Azula wasn’t one to regret much, but a year could really change you. Being left with nothing but your thoughts and a door guarding you from everything you’d been forced to leave behind could change you. 

_“I talked to Dad today. Not sure if you wanted to know that, but it might interest you to know he hasn’t changed. Even after getting his firebending taken away, and...Azula, I don’t want to do that to you. I just want you to get better. It can be hard, but I’m here for you. I’ve done this before. Uncle’s here, my friends are here, and we’re all waiting for you to come home. I can’t...I don’t know how much longer I can do this without you.”_

_“It’s me again. Zuko. I miss you, Azula. Can you at least talk to me?”_

_“I know you don’t care, but Sokka and I are dating now. I hope you're okay with that. He’s just...you should really meet him sometime. He’s funny, and sweet, and he helps me whenever things get too hard. And he’s so beautiful…”_

_“Ty Lee misses you. Thought you should know. She really wants you to get better, soon.”_

Azula jolted out of the memories when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Sokka was kneeling on the front of the saddle, reaching forward. “I can take the wheel, if you want.” He whispered.

She nodded and they switched places rather ungracefully. Azula stumbled into the back, her stomach feeling like a knife was plunged into it. “Hi, Zuzu.”

Her brother smiled as she laid down, staring up at the stars. She recognized the constellations from when they were younger and snuck outside with Mother to lay by the turtleduck pond. There was Agni’s crown, Sozin’s fire...something about a fish? Azula remembered her mother pointing up at the moon. _”That’s the moon spirit, Tui. Don’t tell your father this, but that’s my favorite spirit._

_“What’s your favorite constellation, Zuko?”_

_Zuzu had stared at the sky in concentration. “I like that one.” He traced one with his finger, and Mother had smiled._

_“That’s not a constellation, but we can make it one if you like. Let’s name it turtleduck.” Azula remembered the way her brother had smiled as if he’d just been given the whole world._

_“Yeah! And let’s name one for Azula. Which one do you like?”_

_Azula had stared up at the twinkling stars. She hadn’t seen a point to naming a stupid group of stars, but whatever made Mother happy. “That one.” She pointed up at the brightest star she could find, that connected to the others in a zigzag. “I wanna name it Azula.”_

Azula smiled as her hand came up and traced the zigzag that made up her constellation. 

The stars faded a while later as a bright red took over the horizon. Like fingers of flame reaching out and taking the world.

Suddenly, the sky wasn’t so beautiful anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> arrival at the southern water tribe, complete with reunions, campfires, and private talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kind of rushed and unedited, so i hope you enjoy it anyways!
> 
> TW: mentions of injuries/healing, implied ptsd, mentioned child abuse (ozai)

“Katara!”

Sokka scrambled off Appa’s back as fast as he could and sprinted towards his sister. The waterbender ran towards him as well with her arms outstretched and a huge smile on her face. And Agni, it was so nice to see her vibrant eyes and healthy figure instead of her nightmarish corpse. It was so much better than just getting a messenger hawk telling him she was okay. “Sokka! It’s so good to see you! Why are you here?”

“You too. And we just thought we’d stop for a visit.” He buried his face in her shoulder, surprised that he didn’t have to bend down to do it anymore. “Stop growing before you get taller than me.”

She laughed. “Can’t help it. Dad’s height is rubbing off on me.” 

It was nice to be back home. The warm coats and furs were like a warm welcome against his skin, and it was nice to see his village steadily growing with the men’s return from war. Everything seemed happier, brighter. It was so much better than being in the heat of the fire nation.

Katara pulled away from their hug and froze while staring at Appa. “Sokka…” Her to e was _not_ welcoming. What was… “Why in the name of Tui and La is _Azula_ here?”

“Oh, right, about that. She’s good now. Apparently isolation makes you better, she hasn’t tried to kill me _once_...well, except when I insulted her, but that wasn’t physical so much as verbal killing…”

“Just—shut up. How is she here, why is she walking like she’s hurt, and why the _fuck_ is Zuko walking like that?” She hissed. Sokka turned and saw Azula stumbling towards them with a grimace and Zuko behind her, staring at his feet like he didn’t trust himself to walk without looking exactly where his foot was going.

“I’ll explain later. Just be nice to her, ‘kay? Or don’t talk to her at all.”

Sokka looked behind his sister to see his dad standing with Bato by his side, both of them smiling wider than Katara had been somehow. “Dad! Bato!” He sprinted into his dad’s warm arms and just melted.

“Hey there, Sokka. I missed you.” His dad held him tighter. “How’s the fire nation?”

Sokka pulled away. “Oh man, Dad, it’s amazing! It’s warm every day, and I get to do and eat whatever I want! And of course Zuko’s there all the time. But I...I really miss home sometimes.”

Hakoda smiled through the whole thing. “Well, I’m glad you’re happy. And I’m glad you’ll be back a lot more, but uh...why are you here now? I thought you weren’t visiting for another three months?”

Sokka shrugged. He _really_ didn’t want to tell his dad that they’d run from the palace because of a few silly nightmares. “Just due for a visit, I guess. We’ll only be here a few days though.”

He heard his sister behind him scolding Zuko for not getting a healer sooner, and Azula’s delighted laughter at her brother being yelled at. Maybe some things never changed. “I’m glad you’re here. Should we get some coats for your friends?”

Sokka nodded. “I’m not sure they’ll last much longer with the blankets I gave them.”

Dad and Bato went to get some layers, and Sokka caught up with Katara and Zuko as they walked and talked on the way to the healing tent. Azula trudged behind them with her hands clutching her stomach and her head down. Sokka headed back to walk next to her. “Don’t worry. Katara’ll warm up to you. She did the same thing to Zuko a year ago.”

Azula shivered and pulled her blanket tighter around her. “I’m not my brother, Sokka. She hates me, and for a good reason.”

“Hey, she doesn’t hate you. She just...needs some time to adjust.”

“Agree to disagree.”

…

Why did the South Pole have to be so _cold_?

Even with a few of the tribe’s extra jackets wrapped around Zuko’s shoulders, fire living underneath his skin, and Sokka’s body heat, it was still freezing. How did Katara do this every day? 

Sokka went off to talk to his dad, while Zuko sat in the healing tent and watched Katara slowly heal Azula’s wound. “Looks like you cracked a rib. It might even be broken. What in the name of the spirits were you guys _doing_?”

The siblings shared a look. “Uhh...would you believe that we were sparring?”

Katara gave Zuko a dirty look for that comment and turned back to her healing. “Sokka told me in a letter about the assassination attempt, so I know about your head, Zu. I’m sorry these things keep happening to you.”

“It’s okay.” He muttered, fighting back an embarrassed blush. He hated that people wanted to kill him, but he hated even more how his friends pitied him for it. “I didn’t die, did I?”

The waterbender glared at him again. “So what happened to your sister?”

The sister in question was the first one to cave, surprisingly. She seemed to shrink under the weight of Katara’s gaze, at least from what Zuko could see. Katara _was_ pretty scary. And the last time she’d seen Azula...well. That wasn’t exactly the kind of thing that made you best friends.

“We got attacked by some robbers at the Southern Air Temple. Not a big deal, if you ask me. Just a few scratches.”

“Uh huh. And why were you at the temple?”

The question was directed at Zuko, but it took a minute for him to notice the girls staring at him. His brain was still a little slow to process conversation. “I’m not sure. Sokka wanted to sleep?”

“Sounds like Sokka,” Katara snorted. “Looks like you all got off relatively okay, so I can’t complain much about your lack of survival skills. Just be careful next time, alright?”

“Noted.” Zuko said. 

Katara finished healing Azula and moved to the firelord next, placing her water-soaked hands on either side of his head. The second she did, his thoughts immediately became clearer, the world in sharper focus. He sighed contentedly as she took her hands away. “Better?”

He nodded, and she smiled. Her smile reminded him of Sokka. Speaking of, the water tribe boy ducked into the tent a second later with Hakoda at his heels. Zuko was still wary of the older man, but he’d proven time and time again that he was nothing like Ozai. Hakoda nodded to Zuko in greeting and he nodded back. Another thing Ozai would never do.

“Hey, girls. Can we borrow Zuko for a minute?” Hakoda asked.

Katara looked apprehensively over at Azula. She looked like she was going to argue, but finally nodded. “I’m done healing for now, but come back if anything feels wrong.”

Zuko nodded and left through the tent flap, pulling his jacket tighter around him at the sudden chill. 

“So what is it?” The firelord asked the two men.

Sokka took that moment to explain. “Nothing really, we just wanted to give those two some time to talk. They have some...unresolved issues.”

“For now, we’re going to set up a campfire. We need to cook for the day and make our guests feel at home.” Hakoda clapped Zuko on the shoulder, and it took the boy a lot of strength to keep from flinching.

But with his boyfriend at his side, and warm fire coursing in his bones, he knew it would be okay.

…

Alone. With the water tribe girl. A true nightmare.

Azula was feeling a lot better in terms of her rib injury, but not good enough to leave the tent. That thought scared her the most, considering the waterbender gave her the evil eye every few seconds. It was terrifying, being trapped alone with a girl who clearly wouldn’t hesitate to let her drown.

 _Ice encasing her whole body, a feeling of utter helplessness worming into her brain. The peasant stood in front of her with frozen chains in herarms. And oh, the fear. She was going to_ lose _and she couldn’t do anything about it. She would be killed, surely._

“So...you’re _better_ now, I suppose?”

The venom in the girl— _Katara’s_ —voice sent shivers down the princess’s spine. She didn’t believe that Azula had changed. She couldn’t blame the other girl, but it still hurt. She longed for Mai’s warm embrace and Ty Lee’s reassuring smile for the conversation that was coming. 

“I believe I’ve made real progress during my year in the mental institute.” She responded simply. “I promise I would never try to hurt you.”

“Hmm.” Katara’s relieving healing suddenly turned too cold to be natural. It was like she was trying to shove daggers of ice into Azula’s heart. The princess’s breath caught. That wasn’t out of the question, and she didn’t want to die. She’d just gotten free of Ozai’s rule, and she would just be killed, Zuzu would never be able to forgive her—

“If there’s some underlying plan here, some secret plot, it’s not going to work.” Kayara grit her teeth and the water against Azula’s chest turned to ice. Her heart began racing, fear coursing in her veins. _Don’t kill me...please_... 

“I promise,” Azula gasped, “I’m good now. I swear on my life, Agni, and the fire nation’s honor.”

That stunned the waterbender enough for her ice to melt back into freezing water. Azula felt as if she could breathe again. “I did the same thing with Zuko. It’s just...you were _insane!_ I never doubted that you wanted to kill me like I did with him. You were a machine, an instrument of war, more than you were a girl. And it’s hard seeing you as anything different.”

“I know, and you don’t have to forgive me. I’ve had this conversation enough times to know where it’s going.”

“Good. Because I’m not forgiving you, not yet. You did too many horrible things in the past for me to even _trust_ you. All I’m asking is that you don’t try anything to hurt anyone, at least for the time you're staying here. Because if you hurt my family…” Katara withdrew her healing hands and made a slicing motion across her throat. Azula gulped and nodded jerkily.

“Now,” Katara straightened her dress as Azula stood. “Let’s go meet with the others, shall we?”

…

The moon, Yue or whoever it was, rose not long after. _Days are shorter in the South Pole,_ Azula supposed. That didn’t make it any less weird.

The campfire was a welcome sight in between all the water tribe residents. They all seemed to glare at her with a fierce intensity, and for a good reason. Staring at this familiar element helped her forget why they hated her. The fire was orange, like Zuzu’s. Like Uncle Iroh’s. Like happiness and warmth and love.

Zuzu sat on her right, Sokka on her left. It was almost as if they were protecting her from any hate directed towards her. She was grateful, but also didn’t want to be treated like a pity project. Azula could handle herself.

“Right!” Katara laughed. Azula realized she’d missed a whole story being told by Sokka while she was thinking. “And then Sokka dropped the whole belt on Toph’s head!”

“That was _one time!_ ” Sokka yelled jokingly. Azula found her gaze being pulled to her own brother. If only they had a bond like that.

“Yeah, like you haven’t done dumb shit like that all the time.”

“Language, Kat,” Hakoda smiled and sipped his tea. “Gran-Gran’s listening.”

“Oh, fuck that. Let the girl say whatever shit she wants!” An older woman, presumably Gran-Gran, shouted. Azula’ eyes widened before she laughed along with the rest of the group. 

“Oh, my uncle used to be all about the ‘no cursing’ thing.” Azula began speaking before she even knew what she was saying. “Once, Zuzu told him to ‘stop making that shitty tea’ and he went full war general on his ass! I’m honestly surprised he isn’t dead after that.”

Zuzu’s cheeks turned fully red in the firelight. A few of the water tribe members laughed, others glancing warily at each other. Fair. “Okay, that was pretty funny.” Zuzu laughed. “Uncle did the same to Azula when she called out mother a bitch on accident.”

“That was no accident.” Azula murmured, her voice lost under the delighted shouts of their friends.

Friends. That was a word Azula liked using to describe these people.

The jaunty conversation continued as Zuzu leaned into the princess’s ear. “Can I talk to you? In private?”

A million thoughts raced through her mind as she followed him away. Was he mad about the stories? Was he having a panic attack? Why in the name of Tui and La would he need to talk to her?

“I’m sorry about the story Zu, I thought it was funny and I didn’t mean to embarrass you—”

“Azula,” He interrupted her mid sentence. “I’m not mad about the story. I actually thought it was pretty funny.” He smiled, a welcome sight. “I’m here to tell you something.”

What? What did he need to tell her in private? Was it about Mother? Sokka? Katara? 

“I’m ready to forgive you.”

Oh. Oh Agni. Tears immediately sprang to Azula’s eyes as her heart burst into orange flame. That meant it was all worth it. She wouldn’t die without closure, her brother loved her again, all the therapy paid off in the best way. She rushed towards her brother and threw her arms around him, burying her cold face into his water tribe jacket. He hugged her back immediately and ran a hand through her hair.

“I love you, Zuzu.”

“Love you too, Azula.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who’s supported this series! ily all and you make my day with your comments and kudos <3

**Author's Note:**

> they’re dumbasses and will check on katara in person and risk their safety rather than send a messenger hawk. lemme know what you think of this chapter! it makes me so happy that a lot of you have been enjoying this series!
> 
> sorry the chapters are a little short, i was planning on one continuous work but that seemed tedious. plus i’d rather not make you guys wait too much longer for this work, and it’s taking a long time to write


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